Buying Toilet Paper by Brady

The other night I was in Wal-Mart shopping for a few things and wasting time while a prescription was getting filled. I happened to remember that we were running low on toilet paper so I decided to pick some up while I had the time. Little did I know it was going to take 30 minutes to get out of the store and I would be carrying around this bulky load of toilet paper for the majority of the time.

I don’t know why my mind works this way, but it does and I can’t help it. I started to get a little embarrassed about carrying toilet paper around and I felt like people were looking at me like I was freak. I get extremely awkward in these types of situations. I especially get uncomfortable during church camps when kids forget certain hygiene products and I have to go make their purchases for them. But I had a spiritual revelation during my time in Wal-Mart brought on by buying toilet paper.

I started thinking about the state of the church today and the moral failures many prominent Christians have had in recent months. I also couldn’t help thinking about people in the church that I know struggle with things but always act like things are ok. When asked how they are doing, the proper response is a smile and a “just great!” This goes on even though their marriage may be falling apart, they may be addicted to a certain habit or substance, they are depressed, doubting their faith, or they are stealing from their work.

I do believe that a sin is a sin in God’s eyes, but what I have learned in the last couple of years is that all sins are not exactly equal. All Sin (capital “s”) separates us from God, but certain sins carry different consequences than others. But even though I do not believe there is much scriptural evidence to make a blanket statement declaring “all sins are equal,” I do know that we all struggle with darkness in our lives because we live in a sinful world.

So why is it that we have our own junk in our lives, but also we carry on in church life like we’re not dying inside? It is as stupid as me getting embarrassed about buying toilet paper. I quickly got over the awkwardness in Wal-Mart when I had the revelation that we all buy toilet paper. In fact, if you don’t buy toilet paper you’re worse than those of us carrying that 4x4 plastic square around in public which screams “I go to the bathroom” to the world.

Derek Webb, a popular Christian singer, once said that the best thing that could happen to any of us is if the 7 o’clock news would broadcast our deepest, darkest secret to the entire world. Then we could stop devoting so much energy to protecting our image and the lie that is as foolish is saying you never go to the bathroom. Think about how much of your life you devote to covering up secret sins and dark thoughts. One of the most refreshing spiritual experiences I have had in recent memory happened this morning at church when my pastor opened up the altar for prayer. Dozens of people flocked to the front, but this happened only after the pastor and his wife went on their knees first. It was different than the other times I’ve seen altar calls happen where everybody stands by waiting to see who is going to admit that they actually “go to the bathroom” and the pastor waits on this sinner to come confess in front of everyone. Of course, the congregation only watches in anticipation so they can pray for this poor soul during the week.

So why is the body of Christ not more honest with each other about our shortcomings and doubts? First, I’m not convinced most churches have the spirit and grace to allow such honesty from its members. We too often talk about each other’s shortcomings as though we do not have a plank in our own eyes. Also, I think we’ve all been trained by our Christian culture to act like we have it all together. I also believe our system teaches us that we are only accountable to ourselves, but the reality is that when we give our lives to Christ we give away our right to complete autonomy. Finally, I’m not sure most churches have the spiritual maturity to give the proper grace and discipline needed in these types of situations. I do know this though, it is only when we are open and honest with others about our sin that God will fully heal us from our fallen nature. But hey, I may be wrong here and maybe this type of “bathroom talk” is no longer acceptable today.